good riddance.

never have i been more happy to put away clothes that didn’t fit as i have my maternity clothes.  good riddance, i say!  as of today, i have officially weighed in at less than i did when i became pregnant.  i’m not going to lie, i’m pretty proud of this little accomplishment.  but also holding back a little bit, as i don’t want amelia to know i’ve ever been unhappy with how i looked.  it’s so important to me that she grow up with an influence that is happy with her appearance, and i really want to make an effort to never mention my weight around her.  i want to shield her from body insecurities as much as i can so she can grow up with a healthy attitude about beauty.  i sure hope that’s possible, but as somebody who’s always struggled with being content with my shape, i understand the challenges.  but today, i celebrate.  at least while she doesn’t understand my words. :)

in other news, here are some pictures!

<3

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amelia’s first ski.

cross country skiing is important to us, particularly mr. halloran, and we’ve been very anxious to take amelia for her first ski.  the delay has been mostly my fault, as the drive to the mountain and the thought of trying to nurse in the lodge have been huge barriers for me, but like many things i get opposed to in my head i quickly discovered it wasn’t so bad and we had a great time!  our friend wendy and her little baby j.r. (who is four months old and just surpassed amelia in weight – a chunkie chunk!) joined us and we toted both babies in the chariot.  wendy skied for dartmouth in college, so it was nice to have the chariot for both her and matt and slow them down to my pace. :)  amelia seemed indifferent – she slept most of the time – but i think she will quickly discover that being outside is one of her most favorite things.

<3

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our poor sicky sick.

amelia went from this:

to this:

in just 24 hours.  very fast onset eye infection and fever.  trip to urgent care.  additional diagnosis of ear infection.  amoxicillin plus eye drops.  quick recovery.  still not quite her normal self but she’s close.  that little trooper.  she’s been sick with one thing or another for the past month.  hopeful that things will turn around here quickly.  cough tonight that was so bad she threw up two hour old dinner all over mr. halloran.  he’s a trooper too.

<3

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six months.

i am the worst.  the worst i say!  rather than go back and update with photos of amelia from the last 3 months of neglect here on this bloggity blog, how about i start fresh?  maybe i’ll update this thing?  a girl can dream?  *shame*

taken today on her six month old birthday.  we had a great day with a long walk, lots of play time, a trip to target, making dinner, cleaning, nursing and more play time.  dad is out of town, and we had the most glorious time just the two of us.  a new tooth even sprouted in the last 24 hours.  now she has two!  and she added new consonants to her repertoire and is smiling and laughing up a storm.  she particularly loves it when i make sounds into her belly and when i hold her up high (“babies in space”).  i love this girl more than i could have ever imagined.  trying to soak every minute in.

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a little trip.

matt, miss amelia, and i ventured on our first long distance trip at the end of september.  first stop: cleveland.  agenda: meet amelia’s cousin rita and hang with my brother and sister in law, jason and leah.

first up, amelia’s first plane ride!  the flight attendant even gave her her first pair of wings.

she flew like a champ.

and look – cousins!

rita and amelia are five weeks apart.  i loved being around another baby that was so close in age to amelia.  it’s fascinating how different babies are from one another, even when they’re so small!

proud dads with sleeping babies.

loving on my baby in cleveland.

and teaching rita tummy time!

thank goodness jason was good about taking photos.  it was so great to see where jason and leah live and be a part of their lives in cleveland.  can’t wait to go back.

from cleveland we flew to new york to visit andrew and greg.  new york was definitely harder with a baby, and we’re hoping we didn’t invade andrew and greg’s space too badly, but we had a great time even with the slower paced visit.

our visit consisted of eating.

eating.

and more eating.

amelia slept soundly in a drawer.

enjoyed a lot of that coveted uncle andrew time.

snuck in a short visit with grandpa dennis and grandma mhairi (how is this the only picture i got?).

uncle andrew killed a lot of mosquitoes.

uncle greg got to hold his first baby.

and we even got in a little nyc sight seeing (the 9/11 memorial).

all in all, traveling with an infant wasn’t nearly as bad as we thought it would be.  especially with this grin.

<3

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photo shoot in the park.

yes, we are those people now.

<3

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welcome, baby amelia.

world, you’re in trouble.  on july 26 mr. halloran and i welcomed the sweetest, most wonderful, cutest little baby – amelia lynn halloran.  look at this face.

we are so in love.  she was born after only six hours of labor at 7 lb 3 oz and 21 inches long at 1:30am.  even through the difficulties and adjustments, she has been the biggest joy in our lives for six weeks now.  no one can really prepare you for how hard it is to have a new baby.  i mean, they can tell you it’s hard, but you don’t really know until you’ve experienced it.  those first few weeks were rough, and we’re still adjusting.  mr. halloran and i are now in a routine so sleep deprivation isn’t as big of an issue as it was for the first month, but boy was it hard in the beginning.  and when i go back to work, i imagine even more adjustments will need to be made.  breastfeeding was very difficult in the beginning, my body is having some troubles, and learning amelia’s fussy cues has kept us on our toes.  it’s hard.  but it’s gotten easier.  and slowly little pieces of normalcy are returning to our lives.  a new normal with this beautiful tiny little human.

we were so lucky to have so many wonderful family and friends help us through those first few weeks with meals and kind words and encouragement and love.  we are so lucky.  we have the best loved ones anyone could ever ask for, and we are so grateful.

and now some photos!

brand new.

going home.

with uncle andrew. <3

and sleeping with auntie leigh.

andrew’s doing – introducing amelia and grandma sandra.  this one makes me cry.

meeting grandpa dennis and grandma mhairi for the first time.

this face.

dad gives her lots of tummy time.

bottles for dad, bottles for baby.

we call this the zoolander.

snuggle time.

she looks like her dad.

five weeks old, ten pounds!

cousin time.

i couldn’t be happier.

and a poor forgotten pug in a baby chair, for good measure.

with this new baby that everyone loves and so many loved ones so far away, i am bound and determined to be better at blogging.  here’s to new beginnings!

<3

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more news, of the sad sort.

earlier this month we lost our dear sweet girl nikki.

her poor old body had been failing her for months, and she got to the point where she was unable to walk without assistance.  the weekend before we made the agonizing decision to put her to sleep, one of her eyes spontaneously went cloudy – almost like she went suddenly blind.  she was incontinent and fell all the time.   we were so worried about leaving her on her own, worried she’d fall or run into something and hurt herself.  and she was so upset with her condition.  nikki was a very strong, independent girl, and her body left her a long time ago.

it’s been really hard without her.  matt took it hard also – he was nikki’s favorite human after my dad moved, and she was his girl.  the house is really quiet, and even after three weeks our minds still trick us into thinking we hear her or that i need to step over her when i get up at night.  yesterday, a dog passed us at the dog park that looked like her from behind, and my heart stopped.  this dog was more than just a dog to us.  she was a creature that took care of us, and we miss her so.

what makes me even sadder is the fact that our babies will never know her, and vice versa.  but the world keeps going and my belly keeps growing.

there’s a bit of a shadow here, but you get the idea.  someday i’ll learn the tricks of photoshop to correct things like that.

<3

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hello world, i have some news.

boy, i have been a bit absent from the blog world, no?  well, i have a tiny excuse.

that’s right, mr. halloran and i are expecting.  that you see there is our nugget.  or d-nugg as my sister affectionately refers to it as.  we are 14 weeks now, and this is the strangest thing in the world.  there’s really no nice way to say this – i’ve felt like shit lately.  absolutely exhausted, sick every hour and a half if i don’t stuff my face, my body is doing weird things, i’m too tired to do things i enjoy, and i’m a little terrified.  or a lot terrified.  i’ve always been the one to be excited about having a baby and being a mom – i like responsible things – while mr. halloran has always been a little tentative.  when he stopped being tentative, we started trying, and then we got pregnant and all i could think about is how our lives are going to change.  we’re pretty selfish people – myself in particular – with our time.  we like to do our own thing on our own terms.  i myself really thrive on that.  and now there’s going to be a little one thrown into the mix that’s going to change all that.  we’re excited, don’t get me wrong.  but i’m nervous.  i think i’m allowed to say that?  having babies is heavy.

i’m finally coming out of the cloud of exhaustion and have felt so good this weekend that i went skiing not once but twice (!).  i’ve been writing people back and talking on the phone and reading books and i’m a little bit back to my old self.  which feels good.  and i think that will ease my fears a little bit.  hooo-eeee.  things are going to be a’ changin’ around here.

<3

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thankful.

for my husband.  for my family.  for my extended family.  for my pugs and buhund.  for my friends.  for the health of all of the above.  for sunny mornings.  for a warm home.  for unlimited opportunities.  for good jobs.  for cookies.  for great books.  for delicious foods in our bellies.  for clean clothes.  for all the things we have.  for love and for this life.  we are some lucky peeps, this mr. halloran and i.

sophie’s thankful too, for food, naps, and for finally getting over her little cough.

<3

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